The Badger – 21/01/2014

 
 

The Badger is so excited to be back giving off steam in his column. The Christmas season isn’t easy for us badgers. Granted we live underground, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to stay warm. Far from it.

That being said, living in cold conditions allows the Badger to appreciate sports such as the Winter Olympics even more as a freezes his little bum. On his 3D television with mono sound, the Badger make believe he’s actually in Russia.

So, these games get underway on February 6th in Sochi and the Badger thinks it will be a fantastic spectacle. In preparation for the Games, the Badger has been watching the 1993 film Cool Runnings starring John Candy and the Jamaican bobsled team. It will be fantastic if Usain Bolt could make an appearance in Russia, but something tells me he’d be adding to his gold medals from last year’s Summer Games.

Last year? Wait, that was actually two years ago. It’s hard to believe that it’s now 2014 and that 2012 was two years ago. Min-boggling. The Badger feels like nothing has changed. Well, except for Lionel Messi not being the best player anymore.

The Badger is delighted that Cristiano Ronaldo picked up the Ballon d’Or award last week. That little Argentinian lad has been stealing the limelight from poor old Ronny since 2009 and the Badger feels he deserved to be this year’s World Player of the Year once again.

It was obvious from his tears how much the award meant to the Portuguese considering Ronaldo is usually the one making his opponents cry, it’s also nice that he got a taste of his own medicine.

Speaking of hot men by the way, The Badger has been keeping a close eye on all the hot men at the Australian Open in Melbourne and he’s considering taking the wife over to Oz for a holiday sometime because the heat looks incredible.

The Badger has no idea why the likes of Andy Murray and Rafa Nadal are complaining about the scorching temperatures. Sure it could be worse, they could have been in Lahinch when the wind and waves were doing their worst on the Irish west coast recently.

Much like the decimated west coast of Ireland, things aren’t looking too good at Old Trafford. Yes it’s true, the Badger has been worried at the poor performances of the Red Devils of late.

David Moyes sure does look a bit out of his depth but the Badger thinks he should be given a bit of time to work his magic. After all Fergie needed time back in the 1980s to mould a team. The Badger has a fair amount of experience with moulding. Well, house mould. He’s had to clear all the furntinture out of all the damp rooms in his sett because mould ruins anything it can get its dirty mouldy hands on.

If anyone could lend the Badger a de-moulding machine, that’d be great. At this stage you’re probably expecting the Badger to make a joke about mould because it seemed like he’s been setting up for a joke about mould, possibly about Ole Gunnar Solskjaer’s old team. However, mould is no joke.

If you have mould in your home, get it sorted quick because that stuff can get on your clothes and exacerbate pre-existing airway diseases. Don’t be a mole, sort out your mould.

Badger Out.

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