James Murphy Remixing David Bowie
This sounds like what it’d be if Jesus remixed Four Tet, but better. James Murphy has just fabricated ten full minutes of audio nudity from Bowie’s Love is Lost, and it’ll blow your unassuming mammalian brain. If you’ve ever wanted to get your auld pair into groovin’ synthin’ electronica, but didn’t know where to start, this is your jam.
Reopening of IMMA
Like the coming of St. Patrick to uphold social order in Ireland by banishing snakes and stealing hay, the Irish Museum of Modern Art has re-opened to restore a cultural voice of reason to an art-yearning city. Exhibitions of note are the Eileen Gray and Leonora Carrington displays, on until January. Leonora Carrington is a good exhibit if you like Celtic Surrealism, being the only artist ever to exist in that genre.
Bad Harry Styles Art
A crock of gold has been found at twitter.com/BadHarryArt, where a plethora of the worst depictions of Harry Styles on the earth have been compiled for your visual displeasure. Don’t hope to see any real semblance of Harry Styles, but instead play the Guess the Celebrity Game with each picture. Expect to see lots of incarnations of Steve Bruschemi, Macy Gray and that lad from Razorlight.
UCD Cycle Paths
We appreciate that the ∞-year plan for campus improvement caters for slightly lawsuit inducing cycle paths, but until UCD 2.0 is complete, every student cyclist finds themselves inadvertently challenging every other cyclist to the death while trying to transport themselves. If a Cycle Jousting Society were to be set up this year (watch this space) they’d find themselves with the best sports facilities on campus.
The Death of the English Language
Modern life is slowly killing everything that’s good and pure in language, and Miley Cyrus. At least English wasn’t the master of its own spandex-clad demise. Instead, the masses of telly-educated, Buzzfeed-dwelling language misusers have caused words like ‘literally’ to be given a new meaning in online dictionaries for its use in figurative contexts. If you find yourself mixing up ‘srsly’ and ‘literally’, you should consider giving up on life.
The smell of every campus soap
Somehow, there is now a campus-wide initiative to produce the most nauseatingly bad smelling liquid soap ever, with each scent offending the user in a unique and special way. It’s like Berty Bott’s Every Flavour Beans, but instead of candy surprises, it’s formaldehyde and brie. Maybe it’s part of The Man’s effort to stop us smoking, or touching each other, or something. Cos that’s totally something that a square like The Man would want.