Hotter than a pot of smoking hot ash, Ali Lee in da house
Hats off to one of the few sports that doesn’t involve being shouted at, tackled to the dirt and communal showers afterwards. Climbing is solitary, peaceful, and almost meditative, and you can do it indoors or outdoors. True, there is a slight chance that you’ll plummet down a ravine to your death, but at least gum shields aren’t compulsory.
The upcoming Choice Music Prize ceremony
The only thing not hot about this award ceremony, held in Vicar Street on March 3rd, is the fact that it’s sold out. If you’re one of the lucky ticket holders, you’ll be treated to some of the best new Irish music around, including O Emperor, Halves and Villagers – and of course you’ll be first to find out who bags the coveted award.
RTÉ’s Dragon’s Den and its feminist agenda
DD is unique amongst reality TV shows in that it’s actually worth watching. It’s also a bit more PC now that there’s a female on the panel: publisher Norah Casey. Tune in on Sundays for an hour of wacky inventions, business tips and the guilty pleasure that comes from watching people being humiliated on national television.
Real masochists turn their noses up at whips and chains, because real masochists go to spinning classes. Few activities are more torturous than dragging your ass to the gym before sunrise, and spending an hour on an exercise bike listening to motivational music while a fitness instructor on steroids screams: “Push it! Push it!” It’s scary what some people are into.
The lack of Spotify in Ireland
Those pesky Swedes are at it again. First they spend years withholding Ikea from us, now Spotify. This Swedish music-streaming service provides users with vast choice of music for free, and it’s all legal – unless you happen to live in Ireland, that is. Come on Spotify, we’d rather unlimited music over cheap flat-pack furniture any day.
The ready-made meals and their tastelessness
There are few sounds more depressing than that of a fork stabbing through the plastic covering of a Tesco Value Ready Meal For One. The lonely hum of the microwave does come close though, as does the forced cheerfulness of the “ping!” announcing that your processed gloop is ready. If you’re eating in alone at least cook yourself something nice.