What’s Hot and What’s Not

 
 

College is hard enough without having to stay up to date on being down with the kids. Michelle McCormick is here to save you the trouble

HOT
idontgoto.com
Attention Freshers! Set yourself apart from the hoody-wearing crowd by making an amusing and clever fashion statement – go to idontgoto.com and purchase one of their fine garments. Instead of blending in with the hordes, you’ll delight and astound passersby with your jaunty jumper from Idontgoto University.

Wispa Gold
Have you had one yet? Have you had one yet? Have you had one yet? The best thing to come back onto our shelves since… er, original Wispa, this caramelly chocolatey delight is the perfect excuse to stuff your face – since they’re only going to be around for a limited time. But they said that about Wispa original too, so maybe if we eat loads of them, they’ll stay forever.

Oktoberfests
As if we didn’t have our own excuse to get rat-arsed on a yearly basis with St Patrick’s Day, we’ve gone and imported this tradition from our German brethren. And a fine tradition it is too! With both Messrs Maguire and the Porterhouse running their own Fests this Oktober, get thee down there and drink some beer. Because the Germans say so.

Hey otwo, I’m real happy for you…
…and Imma let you finish, but last issue’s What’s Hot or What’s Not was the best What’s Hot or What’s Not of all time. Of. All. Time. If you haven’t heard of the Kanye meme, please get out of whatever hole you’ve been hiding in. You probably smell.

NOT
Alesha Dixon on Strictly
Oh, shut up Alesha. Stop being so nice to everyone. And stop laughing, it sounds like a cat being strangled by a leftover strand of your awful weave. And stop pretending to talk to Bruno when Craig and Len are fighting – that’s the best part and you’re ruining it. And stop pretending you know things about dancing. You know what, just get out… and take Tess with you, thanks.

Christmas Ads
Seriously? Seriously?! It’s September!. Harvey Norman, I’m looking at you. Yes, we’re all strapped for cash and Christmas Clubs are probably a good idea, but put a poster up in the shop for God’s sake and don’t make me listen to jingling bells coming out of the TV when it’s sunny outside.

Yes in the City
Hi, I’m a girl. I have boobs and hair and I like makeup and cocktails, teeheehee! There’s no possible way I could ever understand the intricacies of a big confusing treaty like Lisbon – could someone maybe tell me how to vote by comparing it to a popular TV show that has nothing at all to do with the treaty, its principles, or the impact it will have on the country? I don’t want to get forehead wrinkles from thinking too hard.

Sugababes
I’ve lost count of how many band changes there have been, and I now care so little that I can’t be arsed to even click on the many stories I’ve seen online about your most recent “band reshuffle” to see who’s left this time. Give it up already! Your last song was dire anyway.

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