Michelle McCormick helps you stay down with the kids…
Wheel Spinning, Hamster Dead
Want to make an irreverent and witty comment on topical issues, but lack the imagination and wit? Then webcomics are for you! Like this shiny new one from Alan Moloney called Wheel Spinning Hamster Dead (wshd.net). Amuse your friends and followers by wryly passing someone else’s hilarious observations, earning valuable street cred in the process.
Those bastards at Cadbury have been holding out on us, people. They had in their chocolatey brains an idea for the most delicious sweets ever, and they’re only now releasing them for us to stuff our faces with. Think giant Buttons with caramel inside – so good it’s like a little piece of love on your tongue. So good, in fact, that we’ll just about forgive Cadbury’s for not making them sooner.
Another new TV show to get addicted to, as if we didn’t have enough going on in our busy and important lives. This one, starring Joseph Fiennes, revolves around the aftermath of a freak event where everyone in the world blacks out for two minutes and seventeen seconds and experiences a flash into the… forward? The future, six months ahead to be precise. Spookiness and weirdness ensues.
I don’t know what all this ‘dark evenings and mornings’ fuss is about. Student populace, if you are getting up while it’s still dark, you’re doing it wrong. Where are the hangovers? Where is the dedication to partying? I’m not seeing it! And the fact that it gets darker earlier just means more cover for covert knacker drinking, not to mention back-alley fumbles. The darkness is our friend…embrace it!
Just when you get into the swing of being mindlessly addicted to a new TV drama airing across the pond, they go and have a hiatus for two weeks. Where is my Glee? Where is my House? Give me back my television shows, US TV networks! It’s clearly a tactic to get us all the more addicted and twitching for a fix. Not that we have a problem, or anything. We can stop any time we want.
Facebook, you make my brain hurt. What’s the difference between the Live Feed and the other feed? Why can’t I find any of my events? Why are you making me feel guilty for not talking to my old friends from primary school by rubbing them in my face the whole time? What did I ever do to you, Facebook? I just want to social network in peace! I’m going to go over here and cry now.
After all the hype and excitement and drama, Google Wave is finally here! Yay! But wait… how does it work? I type, and the other person can see it… just like chat? Well I could just use chat for that. And the other person can see what I’m typing as I type? WITCHCRAFT. Also, my hilarious wit is less impressive when the other person can see me labouring over it before I hit ‘send’. Sadsies.
Organised Christmas Freaks
If you’re one of these people who’s been saving up since August, planning ahead, stowing away Christmas cards, wrapping paper, gift ideas and actual gifts… the rest of us all hate you. You are the ones who want to have Christmas parties in November. You are the ones who put their Christmas tree up the day you take the Hallow’een decorations down. You, organised person, are ruining it for the rest of us.