What’s Hot and What’s Not

 
 

Goddess of cool (ok, bossy and opinionated cow) Michelle McCormick feeds you your lines for another fortnight

What’s Hot

Michael Bublé
Yes, he’s a cheesy crooner – but swoon, he’s so pretty! His new song ‘Haven’t Met You Yet’ is on permanent YouTube repeat, and it’s a poppy, happy, lovely delight – as well as being set in a supermarket, with a marching band, and a dance troupe. What more can we ask for? Absurd romance? Oh wait, it’s got that too!

Talking Dogs
Thanks to Disney Pixar for finally making a realistic talking dog! If you’ve seen UP, you’ll know what we’re talking about. Too long has the movie talking dog been super-intelligent and savvy – we much prefer the soppy, stupid, slobbery messes in UP. Dogs do hide under the porch because they love you. Squirrel!

3D Movies
Ok, so we’re a little UP-crazy. But the 3D movie trend is really taking off; with Disney classic Toy Story now out in 3D and more exciting movies on the way. We can catch a glimpse of what a non-flat Johnny Depp looks like when The Imagination of Dr Parnassaus hits our screens, and a scary Scrooge will be leaping out of our screens with the opening of A Christmas Carol in 3D. Just don’t sit too close, or you’ll do embarrassing leaning and jumping.

Autumn
Summer’s long gone, and Winter is fast approaching – let’s enjoy the week or so of lovely crisp Autumn weather we get every year before we’re shrouded in rain and misery for eight months straight. Leaves! Chilly, sunshiney days! That bonfire-y smell! Hallow’een! Hurrah!

What’s Not

Ukeleles
Pointless, evil instrument invented solely for the purpose of annoying your fellow human beings. Why else would one take it out on a long bus journey, or start playing it at 11pm when your neighbours are trying to watch Peep Show? Put it away, please, it’s not big and it’s not clever.

Weddings
Another torture implement. Who in their right minds thinks that mass, an inferior meal, awkward conversation, and terrible music – all while dressed extremely uncomfortably – is fun in any way, shape or form? We want to complain to the powers that be… and just go play with the miniature toiletries in the hotel room instead of having to do Rock the Boat.

“Sexy” costumes
Schoolgirl, nurse, French maid, or any “sexy” version of the following – pirates, ninjas, zombies, insects, cartoon characters or clerical workers. These are all terrible ideas for costumes. Please put some clothes on and engage your brain instead of going out dressed as a horrible cliché.

Twin Bashing
Stopping short of sobbing, “Leave John and Edward ALONE!”… I think we should cut the poor, harassed, X Factor twins some slack. Yeah, they can’t sing. Yeah, they’re a particularly bad example of a really obnoxious D4 stereotype. And yes, Louis Walsh DID just put them in because they’re Irish – but ahh, they’re only little. And as Cheryl says, it’s not their fault they got into the final!

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