In her last column of the semester, Alison Lee gives the lowdown once again on the hot and the not-so-hot happenings of the fortnight
It’s time for a pilgrimage to Reads of Nassau Street to stock up on exam essentials like multi-pens, a few litres of Tipp-Ex and a scientific calculator (just in case). Who needs a dazzling knowledge of organic chemistry or calculus when you have a dazzling collection of highlighters instead?
Finally, dairy products have been given a much-needed kick into the world of 21st century marketing. These two minutes of sexy, stubbly farmers, shiny Massey Ferguson tractors and catchy rap will bring even the most obnoxiously hardcore of vegans to their knees and drive sufferers of lactose intolerance to tears of lust.
Is o-two actually advocating that its devoted readers go off and peruse a different “arts and culture” magazine? Yes, because the Christmas RTÉ Guide is a national institution. The cover photo of C-list celebs, the jumbo crossword, the lovably predictable guide to Christmas movies. It’s the glossy equivalent of a Mr. Kipling mince pie and mug of Barry’s.
It’s bizarre how even the most reputable of charitable organisations stoop so low at this time of year. It’s now impossible to walk down Grafton Street without being accosted by desperately grinning youngsters wielding clipboards, pens and the most deadly weapon of all – guilt. Stare at the ground, speed up and avoid eye contact at all costs.
Yes, she’s more irritating than genital warts. But she clearly wants our attention and we’re just playing along with her devious plan by joining silly anti-Waissel Facebook pages and posting online death threats. Maybe if we ignore her, she’ll go away. After all, this tactic tends to work well with wasps, stray dogs and the common cold.
The RDS is definitely NOT hot. How are students supposed to perform mind-blowing feats in literature, science and mathematics when they’re freezing their asses off in what is essentially a giant shed? Also, shivering hands don’t make for very legible handwriting. Wrap up for the Christmas exams, because its doubtful UCD will be upping their spending on heating anytime soon.