with Gavan Reilly
Imagine a world where your family is so desperate to get on TV and to glimpse the slightest piece of fame that you would stage a stunt, where your six-year-old son is (apparently) trapped in a hot air balloon hovering thousands of feet above sparse American desert, only for it to miraculously (!) transpire that the child was hiding in the attic all along.
Oh, wait, has someone already done that? Ah well.
How’s about reliving the Wolf Blitzer interview on CNN where Balloon Boy mutters to his father that it was “for the show”? http://short.ie/balloonboy is your only man. Bonus points if you want to watch Balloon Boy’s family make their second (wtf?!) appearance on the American version of Wife Swap – http://short.ie/uo41 is part one of five. Or, if you’re like most of the rest of the world and basically think that the Heene family deserve nothing more than the contempt of society at large, F*ck Yeah 4Chan has done the job for you http://short.ie/uo42.
Meanwhile, as you inexorably slip into study mode, your attentions will slowly turn to the pressing issue of picking your study playlist. Now, otwo is more than familiar with the differing schools of thought on the subject of study music; while most people enjoy having an aural distraction to break the monotony of revision, studies suggest that facts should be memorised in the environment they have to be recalled in – i.e. total silence. Thank Christ, then, for the BBC’s interpretation of John Cage’s seminal 4’33”, which checks both boxes. Have a look at http://short.ie/uo43.
Of course, all work and no play makes for a pretty crappy student experience, so you might want to take up a new hobby to get you through the days. otwo suggests taking a lead from these clearly-overly-bored frat boys – http://short.ie/uo44 – who have turned common sense on its head by proving you can become even less employable by spending four years in university.
Who knows, maybe if you work hard in college you could become as popular as Nobel laureate, mediocre ex-pat Barack O’Bama? Skewed and all as American news outlets are, feast your eyes on an actual list of 2009 presidential cock-ups at http://short.ie/uo45.
Which leaves just enough time for you to sit around with your mates and write a script for a new episode of Jerry Springer/Jeremy Kyle/whatever, supplemented by the sound effects from http://short.ie/uo46; to gaze in stupefied awe at the genuine brilliance of a twelve-year-old drummer (http://short.ie/uo47) – don’t worry, it was years ago, and otwo is told that the guy is a washed-up drug addict now; and a talented singer who you likely won’t be seeing in Glee any time soon at http://short.ie/uo48.
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