with Colin Sweetman
This week’s spurious internet adventures involve a look-in to the World’s Most Amazing Yet Totally Useless Talents. Now don’t stop reading yet; instead I advise you to get to the nearest browser and check out these clips, which will manage to amaze you for just the right amount of seconds, causing the viewer (you) to say “wow”, however briefly.
First up, we have a bubble magician (that’s right, they do exist) who as it appears, likes to incorporate smoke into his act. Watch as he makes a caterpillar dance a break-down, and defy physics by quite literally blowing smoke through a straw and into the middle of the nucleus of bubbles. Check it out at http://short.ie/uo61.
Now, the next one on the list is a bit sickening. My first thought on watching this was “How does one discover to do that?” Step forward, Busty Heart, a.k.a. The Girl Who Can Break Stuff with Her Right Breast (http://short.ie/uo62). This video defies the endurance of the human physique. Watch as she lifts a bowling ball, then a beer keg, and then commences crushing a beer can with ultimate phumph…
Watch as a man manages to produce trumpet-like sounds using only his hands: http://short.ie/uo63. Apparently, this technique is known as “manualing”, or as others would know it, “hand farting”. This exponent has mastered it so well that he can play – note for note – the entire vocal pattern of Queen’s ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’. Quite amazing, yet entirely useless.
This one is more or less a useless talent. He can play drums, which in my books is a fairly useful talent, but juggling the drumsticks in the air while doing so is just plain showing-off. Visit http://short.ie/uo64 to get the full look-in.
Unrelated, but nonetheless Christmassy:
This one is on the web and, although it’s not a talent, I figured I may as well include it in our pre-Christmas issue, just to ruin it for you all. Aptly named “An Engineer’s Perspective of Christmas”, http://short.ie/uo65 is hilarious in its breakdown of scientific analysis of the one known as Santa Claus. Maybe it’s true, but at the end of the day we all know that magic defies all. And who said delivering millions of presents at light speed wasn’t a useless talent? Absolutely amazing.
As ever, if you have any useful links, just send them to email@example.com, and have a Merry effing Christmas.