Film: Top Ten – Sideboob

 
 

A rare sight in cinema, sideboob comes quick, fast and from the side, write Jon Hozier-Byrne and Killian Woods

There is one thing that takes a good movie and makes it great. Well, two things. Sideboob is the greatest thing ever invented by man or God, and I will fight anyone who disagrees. Below are just some of the fine examples of the art of sideboob.

SLUH!

1)    Who Framed Roger Rabbit – Jessica Rabbit – Oh sure. Some you might scoff, but those animators spent many a lonely, lonely evening making that sideboob bounce like two basketballs with only a passing connection with a human body.

2)    Wedding Crashers – Kitty Kat – Sure, Kitty Kat may be as old as sideboob itself, but she does provide one of the finest sideboob shots of any Vince Vaughn movie. Motorboat those sons of bitches.

3)    Harry Potter and the Chamber of Sideboob – Hermione Granger – We’ve all waited so long, but the new movie gave us some sweet sweet Watson side-B. Sure, she was a smoky apparition, but Ron still ‘would’.

4)    Titanic – Rose ‘Breasts’ DewittKate Winslet, long the undisputed queen of sideboob, finally bares all, thereby destroying the glorious purpose of sideboob in the first place.

5)    Atonement – Keira Knightley – Atonement is a classy film that shoehorns in sideboob at every possible opportunity.  Some accuse Keira Knightley of being somewhat lacking in the sideboob department, but we in O-two appreciate the subtlety of an understated du sein côté.

6)    Dear John – Amanda Seyfried as SavannahTerrible film, great side boob. Almost worth it.

7)    The Little Mermaid – Ariel – For a children’s cartoon, she’s spilling out of those seashells, the nautical trollop. She does, however, settle that old debate once and for all – fishy top of fishy bottom?

8)    Tomb Raider; The Legend of Lara’s Breasts – Lara Croft – Angelina Jolie goes out to fulfil the fantasies of every boy who grew up in the 90s. Very rarely does a film open with a shower scene.

9)    Sin City – Nancy – It was extremely difficult to pick just one classic Jessica Alba sideboob moment, but in the end, we went for the one where she’s a cowgirl. Also see; Machete, Into the Blue, Valentines Day, and anything else she’s ever done.

10) Star Wars; Return of the Jedi – Princess Leia – The list of influences in a young boy’s life reads something like this; Parents, Teachers, Princess Leia’s Gold Bikini, Everything Else. This is a scene that informed the minds of generations of young boys. It’s important we all remember and cherish the greatest moment in all of our collective young lives.

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