Top 10 Mindless Action Movies

 
 

10. Bad Boys
How could we forget the king of “screw it, blow something up”? Michael Bay’s buddy cop, witness protection, gunshot medley had to feature if only because it gave Simon Pegg the line, “There is no way you can perpetrate that amount of carnage and mayhem and not incur a considerable amount of paperwork.”

9. Die Hard
Bruce Willis is stuck in a building with terrorists and takes it upon himself to kill all of them, loudly. It’s tense and he’s got a great catchphrase.

8. Predator
Some manly men and a brave woman get trapped in the jungle only to be hunted by high-tech warrior aliens. Muscly montages, crushing aliens with trees, and Schwarzenegger icing himself in mud; a classic 80s action flick.

7. Taken
Liam Neeson beats an impossible amount of inept bad guys to death (or worse) in the search for his missing daughter. It is utterly breath-taking to see how many ways Neeson can break someone’s arm. A ‘cracking’ film.

6.  Fast 5
The Fast & Furious was always a quality franchise, but this installation had The Rock in it! There are lots of cars driving very fast and loud and guns being held sideways. There’s also a wonderful moment when The Rock breaks a man’s neck with a laconic flick of the wrist. Pure, nitrous infused adrenaline.

5. Kung Fu Hustle
A Wild West-style martial arts flick that does not take itself seriously, ever. With a Road Runner-esque chase scene, an angry old lady in curlers, musician assassins, and an incredibly effective technique named ‘frog style,’ who needs a plot?

4. Showdown In Little Tokyo
Prepare yourself for exaggerated violence and terrible dialogue as Dolph Lundgren and Bruce Lee’s son Brandon battle the Yakuza. Lee’s comment to Lundgren is a highlight. “You have the biggest dick I’ve ever seen on a man.”

3. Marked For Death
Steven Seagal seeks revenge on his partner’s murderer, a Jamaican voodoo worshipping drug lord called Screwface, killing a morgue-load of other people in the process. Picture Seagal stabbing a man with a machete, then breaking his neck and throwing him down an elevator shaft. Life, or death, doesn’t get much better.

2. The Expendables
If this movie were a gun, it would be a bazooka firing 1,000 rounds per minute. Sylvester Stallone, along with a team of joyful murderers, kills a whole island worth of people for money. Classic.

1. Police Story
So many were injured in this film’s production that they couldn’t get insurance for a sequel. Jackie Chan stars as a policeman trying to clear his name by sliding down 80 foot poles, using a motorcycle as a weapon, exiting a moving bus using an umbrella, and ultimately, breaking his back during filming. Otwo recommends the dubbed version.

 

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