Tongue-in-Chic: Camel Toe

 
 

Every girl must heed this advice: Bridget Fitzsimsons advises on the perils of Camel Toe…

The noughties. These years will not be remembered by fashion historians as a decade that broke boundaries. We have borrowed and been inspired by pretty much every decade before us. From the pin-up glamour of the forties, to the jagged shoulder pads of the eighties, we are a decade of fashion recyclers. However, it is imperative that we learn from our former fashion mistakes and move on.

marc-jacobs-camel-toeOne mistake we do not seem to be learning from is one of the most horrific. With the eighties and nineties came a fashion trend we all thought would never return: leggings. Who’d have thought that the staple of our girlhood would return, stronger than ever? But they have, and people do not seem to have cottoned on to the danger that comes with leggings. I am, of course, speaking about camel toe.

Camel toe occurs when tight fitting clothing means that an outline of a woman’s genitals is clear for the world to see. It is a severe loss of dignity and quite horrifying for those who must bear witness to it. The male equivalent is, quite charmingly, called a “moose knuckle”. Fashion designer Marc Jacobs has even campaigned for the eradication of camel toe, by dressing up as an actual camel’s toe and carrying a placard. Women, in particular, seem to have an obsession with vacuum packing their bodies into the tightest clothes possible.

To avoid the mutual embarrassment of camel toe, there is only one simple thing to remember: buy clothes that fit. There is no shame in buying clothes in the right size, be it six or sixteen. In fact, you and those around you will thank you for it. While it feels better to the brain to wear the size twelve leggings instead of the size fourteen, you’ll look so much better in the bigger size. We all do it, but we all need to stop. It’s hard in our size-obsessed culture, but looking better will be the payoff.

Wearing leggings properly is also important. Despite popular opinion, leggings simply cannot be worn as trousers. In my eyes, leggings are a nice substitute for knee-high socks or tights. They are not a substitute for trousers. People who wear them as so are the absolute worst offenders for camel toe. It looks wrong, no matter what size you are.

It is a matter of dignity. The public really do not need to see what you’ve got going on down there. So, save it for the special people and keep your dignity the way it belongs: wholly intact.

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