Music: Write Like Apes

 
 

In their final O-two column, Fight Like Apes give their thanks to you, the reader and hope to keep you satisfied with a quick quiz. There are prizes, apparently

Hi you. This is our last column with The University Observer. We hope we have kept your ears open and your pants poised. We’re going on tour this weekend and the good news is we have secured 24 Solpadeine for the journey.

Seeing as we’re not going to be talking to you for a while anyway, we were thinking we should tell you some stuff that we’ve been afraid to tell you before. Whoever guesses the most correct answers in our game of ‘Who done that?’ wins a date with all of us after a gig for 25 minutes. Send your answers to fightlikeapes@gmail.com. Go!

1)      One of us has athlete’s foot.

2)      Two of us have knocked down old-aged pensioners.

3)      One of us fled the scene of these crimes.

4)      One of us has a vagina.

5)      One of us pooed our pants during the recording of our second album.

6)      One of us used to play with Dire Straits.

7)      One of us coached a teenage girls basketball team.

8)      Two of us had life long dreams of joining the Billy Barry kids.

9)      One of us joined a knock off version.

10)  One of us worked at the pick ‘n’ mix at the cinema.

11)  One of us isn’t entirely sure what we did in college.

12)  One of us studied agricultural science & did an entire project on a potato.

13)  One of us kissed our cousin by accident.

14)  One of us has diplomatic immunity by accident.

15)  One of us owns a BMX.

16)  One of us passed our driving test the first time.

17)  One of us passed it the second time.

18)  It only took one of us five attempts.

19)  One of us claims to be allergic to salad.

20)  One of us was accused of urinating in the corner another band member’s kitchen by said member’s parents.

21)  One of us was once told very sternly to ‘calm down’ during sexual intercourse.

We feel much better for telling you all these things about us. We miss you and the way you would listen and never judge. Our heads hurt now.

If all goes to plan, we will see you at the UCD Ball this month. We hope it’s very good. So far we’ve received nothing from any of you for our birthdays so if you have anything you’d like us to have, please bring it to the ball.

Thanks,

MK, Jamie, Lee

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