Music: Write Like Apes

 
 

o-two’s favourite columnist, Pockets from Fight Like Apes, ponders the art of “mack”.

This has been a trying couple of weeks. Now, I really hate whingers, so I’m not going to bore you with the details of the many illnesses I’ve had over these 14 days, but instead I’m going to use them as a very valid reason as to why, this week, I have not written my own column. Anything I wrote was whiny and uninteresting.

So! Upon hearing that MySpace had yet again revamped its cluttered, aesthetically displeasing image, strangely enough in favour of an even more cluttered, horrible look, it reminded me that Jamie and I used to write little blogs on our MySpace. I’m not quite ready to reveal mine yet. I was young. I was cocky. They’re embarrassing. Jamie, however, has very kindly and valiantly stepped in and allowed me to post one of his blogs in lieu of some writing of my own this week.

I hate owing him stuff, which I very much will now. I love this blog. Enjoy.

Pockets, early 2008:

So I’ve got some time on my hands.

So I’ve sprained my ankle*. It happened. I had previously considered both my ankles unsprainable, but alas, this is not the case. It finally came up. With this time I now have, I’ve decided to investigate something that has been weighing on my mind a lot lately. What exactly is a ‘daddy mack’ and/or a ‘mack daddy’? Kris Kross always seemed to hold them in high regard. So I decided to do a little research:

It would appear that a ‘daddy mack’ is a reference to someone who has mastered the art of the ‘mack’ i.e. a ‘pimp daddy’ of extraordinary sexual prowess. Someone who can talk ‘jive’ till the there ain’t no ‘jive’ to be talked no more.

It is advised not to mess with a ‘Daddy Mack’ or to attempt to woo his hoes. To do such a thing would be inherently ‘wack’. When I got round to finding out exactly what a ‘Mack Daddy’ did/does to deserve such high praise, I came across an urban dictionary article that set me straight.

Apparently, a ‘Mack Daddy’ can be defined as the father/god/master of owning bitches. A Mac Daddy is such a person by using women as his slaves. He uses money, drugs and fear to control his bitches and he uses charm, wit and a large amount of cash to keep his hoes hooked to his muthafucking nature.

So there you are. You don’t have to ponder this anymore

*Can I just add: he broke his ankle on a drunken ghost hunt in Castlepalooza that summer. Didn’t find any ghosts either!

Fight Like Apes are currently touring venues across Ireland.

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