Food: So Hungry I Could Eat a Horse

 
 

After numerous problems frying sausages in a pan, Killian Woods looks out for some food that could quite possibly turn your stomach

Puffer fish

These days, much stress is placed on the preparation of food. Whether it is ensuring your chicken is sufficiently cooked, or double-checking that there are no nail clippings in your McWhopper, nobody fancies eating ineptly made meals.

Well the puffer fish pushes the aforementioned boundaries to the limits. As seen on The Simpsons, this fish’s skin and insides contain poison that is 1,250 times stronger than cyanide. If incorrectly prepared, a period of paralysation culminating in death will quickly follow.

Horse

So after cutting off its hooves and selling them to the glue and jelly industry, you will be left with a large carcass and a lot of cooking to do. Unfortunately, horsemeat is very susceptible to contamination and will be ruined if not kept in proper conditions.

Surprisingly, some horse owners are very fond of eating their horse once they have passed on due to natural causes (check out The Adrian Kennedy Phone Show for further details). Then again, others particularly like the distinct tenderness of horsemeat. In the end, if it was thrown into a stew, you probably wouldn’t notice.

Tuna eyeball

While eating horses and dogs is taboo in most countries, the tuna eyeball has certain creepy characteristics about it, aside from the obvious ethical questions it raises. It could be because it is food that looks back at you while you boil it, or it could be simply that eating eyes is weird. o-two shall coin it the “egg of the east,” as it supposedly tastes like egg. Who knew?

Live octopus

Cut up into pieces and then served whilst still alive, this dish is a battle from the off. Physically, it is a challenge to swallow the tentacles which tend to stick to your tongue as they cling for dear life.

You could nearly call it a party in your mouth given that the experience is allegedly enjoyable. This delicacy tests some of the golden rules of eating, as chewing with your mouth open could see your dinner squirm back onto the plate. Word of warning though: chew thoroughly. Otherwise that octopus will have the last laugh, as their tentacles can cling to your throat.

Morals aside, there are many diverse options out there for late night midweek dinner. However, it’s probably for the best to stick with soggy sausages for now.

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