Title: Mean Girls 2
Director: Melanie Mayron
Starring: Not Lindsay Lohan
Release Date: Out now (if you know a good torrent site)
Sometimes you just have to make exceptions. Sure, Mean Girls 2 isn’t getting an Irish release, or, for that matter, a release in actual cinemas. And sure, even the most eclectic shop won’t have this on DVD. But sometimes, just sometimes, a film is so ridiculous that you are forced to review it none the less.
Mean Girls 2 is the unabashedly shameless attempt to cash in on Tina Fey’s 2004 classic, and it tries desperately to cling on to fond memories of its predecessor. About half of the trailer for Mean Girls 2 is made up of footage from the first movie, and the poster is mercilessly photo-shopped to make it look like Lindsay Lohan is still the star. But oh no, Cady Heron is long gone, and we’re left with Meaghan Martin as Jo Mitchell, a mediocre reminder of what might have been.
All the classic Mean Girl tropes are here, from the Plastics to the artistic/ugly best friend, from the panning-shot explanation of cafeteria cliques to the school dance finale. All that’s missing is the gay best friend, the rapping mathletes, and the wit. The original explored teenage alienation in a clever and, at times, touching way: “She doesn’t even go here” has become an instantly recognisable slogan to identify the socially maladjusted. And not only does Mean Girls 2 fail to capture that same pathos, it misses the original’s social commentary entirely.
The characters are pointless knock-offs of the original cast, and are so interchangeable that you’ll find yourself desperately wondering which one is which, before you quickly stop caring. The plot, a term that can only be used incredibly loosely, makes absolutely no sense. The finale builds to an all-girls football game, which will, somehow, determine who stole some money that was meant for a pet-neutering charity. We at O-two genuinely wish we were creative enough to make this shit up.
Plot holes, ridiculous dialogue and plentiful continuity errors are the order of the day, and leave you wondering if the filmmakers wanted their work to be turned into a drinking game. It is a masterclass in mediocrity, but somehow, you can’t hate it. Perhaps because of fond memories of the original, perhaps it’s just so bad it’s good, but Mean Girls 2 will leave you with a wry, pained smile. Sometimes you just have to make exceptions.
In a Nutshell: So not fetch.
– Jon Hozier-Byrne