Director: David Reilly
Starring: Jon Hozier-Byrne, Heber Hanly, Forrest Whittaker
In cinemas: April 16th
Let’s face it, time travel hasn’t been taken seriously ever since the ill-advised Sex and the City spin-off show single-handedly ruined the genre. Well, thank your lucky stars, general, because here comes Cop to the Future and Back. Think Back to the Future meets Kindergarten Cop. Then instantly forget that because this film is nothing like them.
The story follows ex-cop Harvey Price (Hozier-Byrne) who dropped out the force to play bass clarinet in the local synagogue band ‘Rhythm and Jews’. Ten years later the CIA steals his newborn baby (Hanly), who has the unique ability to open a portal through space and time. Price has to use everything he learned as a cop to time hop, find his child, and meet a woman in the first act that he marries in the last.
Sure, the plot’s clichéd, but director David Reilly has added a few sexy twists to keep things interesting. For example, the dance sequences move the action along swiftly, with a few musical gems such as “I don’t have a licence for this sex gun” and “My sex gun’s fully loaded” sure to be topping those popular music charts. However, the latter songs are a bit disappointing and don’t really fit the plot, mainly because they’re taken directly from Jesus Christ Superstar.
But don’t worry proportionally half of the audience (i.e. men); it’s not all girly singing. This film is jammers with action! One of the more impressive scenes finds British Prime Minister William Gladstone discussing the Irish Question when Harvey Price, courtesy of his time machine, bursts in shouting “Home Rule forever, mo-fo’s” before shooting up the place while wrapped in a burning British flag. Emotional stuff.
However, in what appears to be a complete tangent to the plot Price briefly decides to go for a prehistoric holiday, with the footage in this segment looking suspiciously like it was taken from Jurassic Park. Also, it seems that the studios pressured the film into utilising the recently popular 3D technology but clearly this was a rushed job, seeing as the 3D is used only during the sex scenes. Speaking of, while the first three sex scenes help move the plot along, the following eight just seem a bit tacked.
All in all, while Cop to the Future and Back may not be the best film in recent memory about a Jewish ex-cop travelling through space and time in search of his child (that honour goes to last decade’s Renegade Lemonade), it will definitely fill that emotional void in your lives.
In a Nutshell: Great movie? No. A movie? Definitely.