Fatal Fourway – Best Returning TV Series

 
 

In the first Fatal Fourway of Volume XIX, our editors fight it out to decide which series most deserves to be back on our screens. Who wins? You decide

Doctor Who – Emer Sugrue

Doctor Who, one of the longest running television series in history, has graced us with its Timey-Wimey brilliance once again the semester.

Returning for it’s 33rd series, only a fool or a Dalek could argue that this isn’t the best thing on television. The Thick of It? Pah. Grey’s Anatomy? I spit on you and your dreamy stars. Girls? Well, I’ve never heard of it but I assume it’s rubbish.

Doctor Who is said to be for kids, but I only started watching it at 20 and it scared my four year old niece shitless last Christmas so what does that tell you? That Doctor Who is very much a show that I, a twenty-something, should be watching and it’s not weird at all.

Doctor Who has everything you could want from a series: love, mystery, action, a leggy redhead who never wears trousers, homicidal robots and most importantly, time travel. Through this series we have seen the end of the universe, the big bang and everything in between.

All the other shows here have nothing but dull, pedestrian, linear time structures. I don’t want to have watch a show that follows the normal progression of time, what is it, the ’50s? No, it’s the ’60s and that’s why you should vote for Doctor Who.

Grey’s Anatomy – Aoife Valentine 

Before we even begin this year, you may as well all stop trying. As the reigning Fourway champion, I know all the tricks of the trade. While Emer might have convinced you to change your religious views on Facebook to Steven Moffat-ism, I know that the students of UCD really just want hot doctors and questionable medicinal practices.

If you’re willing to wait until January for your next TV fix then sure, go with Anna, but don’t expect to find your McDreamy, or even your McGeorge in Girls. All you get is Adam, who’ll do no more than make you slightly uncomfortable. And let’s face it; Conor’s choice isn’t much better. Anything covering the inner workings of the British government will not contain anyone’s daily recommended allowance of McSteamy.

Even if you’re not convinced by the hot doctors and terrible medicine, if you’ve seen the season eight finale, you’ll know that Grey’s is the right choice. In the aftermath of one of the saddest Grey’s deaths since Denny and George, Sloan’s heartbreak, Cristina’s meta-commentary on ‘Seattle Grace Mercy Death’ and half the cast supposedly leaving, there’s a ridiculous amount of reasons to tune into season nine. There’s really no other option when it’s the only one with real doctors.

Girls – Anna Burzlaff

What’s that? Why even bother arguing that Girls is the far superior TV show in this unevenly matched Fourway? Oh, Otwo reader you are wise. Despite the futility of this whole debate, I feel I owe it to my fellow editors to inform them why their taste in television is so shockingly misguided.

I think my generation breathes a collective sigh of relief at the news that Girls is returning for a second season. Finally we can all rest easy knowing that the sociological relics of our female generation won’t be confined to the likes of Grey’s Anatomy, a show which has about the same intellectual credibility as a potato. Put plainly, Girls is one of the few things on television which portrays women as more than mindless sex symbols.

As far as Doctor Who is concerned, I think the only people who are excited by its return are those who have nothing better to do on Saturday night than watch Doctor Who. I’ve never even heard of The Thick of It, which goes to show just how inconsequential it is. Really, this is no competition, Girls is an excellently-written pillar of the ever important post-feminist movement. Grey’s Anatomy, on the other hand, is pretty much just a show about some guy’s hair.

The Thick of It – Conor Barry

I have a distinct advantage in this fortnight’s Fourway because I made the wise choice of picking the objectively better show. For those not in the loop, The Thick of It is a satirical political comedy that lampoons the inefficiencies of a small department of a fictitious British government. As I typed that I realised how dull that sounds but don’t let my failure as a writer stop you from appreciating the greatest innovation in television since the invention of the television.

If any more convincing is necessary it should be noted that The Thick of It originates from the mind of comedy demigod Armando Iannucci, co-creator of shows like I’m Alan Partridge and The Day Today. He is allegedly referred to as the ‘hardman of political satire’ and while that may be the lamest phrase available in print media it’s also an accurate description of a man who, in comedic terms, is the Second Coming of Christ.

So pull up a chair and get ready for the imminent onslaught of parades in celebration of the return of the show that Michael Jordon described as ‘better at being hilarious than I am at basketball’. If Mozart hadn’t devoted his life to music but instead devoted it to creating satirical political comedies, you would need the input of about twelve Mozarts to make a show this spectacular. It’s very good is what I’m saying.

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