Jake O’Brien’s guide to surviving three days in midlands muck
First of all, it must be stated for the record that The Picnic is far away and a much better festival than Oxegen. Imagine – civilised, humane and caring individuals, looking out for each other as if help were actually free!? Oh, to be an idealist.
Begrudgingly, there are dos and do nots. While being polite should come naturally, feeding oneself may not. Be that as it may, there are many overpriced food stalls to while away your hard earned bills. If cash is tight – and so it should be after forking out €246 for a spot on some dirt and a band on your arm – buy a Trangia. Priced between €50 and €100, these bad boys can cook almost anything. Composed of a pan, pot and stand with meth holder included, you can live as cheap as you do at home – only now you’re in actual muck!
In terms of the camping itself, you’ll need all the bare essentials: beer, spirits, papers, tobacco, etc. In addition, a roll mat and sleeping bag are handy filler. A tent also helps. On a more serious note, you will need socks – lots of them. If you don’t have a good pair of hiking boots either, buy a set, or invest in some wellies. Given that it is the business end of September, never underestimate the weather – it is Ireland after all. A couple of hoodies, t-shirts and shorts/trousers that are not jeans should suffice. Make sure your day-to-day leg cover has zip or button close pockets. Losing a wallet, phone, iPod or other relevant shit is the biggest bummer, especially on a come-down.
Meanwhile: what to expect? Expect to be fucking thirsty! Water is your friend. It sounds lame and parental, but drink the shit. It will flush the many pollutants that you will no doubt ingest out of your decrepit system. On another, and equally serious note, watch out for the amphetamines. If you do drop, try not to drink too much booze: stick to the water. I’m not going to tell you about what to expect from the music because that would be presumptuous and quite frankly ridiculous.
The main advantage of this festival is that things are quite close together and no one is in a huge rush. Take it handy and enjoy yourself. Just remember to help anyone who needs it.