Election Special: Exclusive – The legend of RON

 
 

In her first ever exclusive interview, Killian Woods talks to RON about her political career and the smell of transparency

RON has been an ever-present in Students’ Union elections since the inauguration of the very first sabbatical team. Like her or loathe her, she is a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out.

The controversial and under-represented candidate approached O-two seeking a clique-free forum to air her views. With the agenda and questions set by the candidate, O-two’s chief election reporter, Killian Woods, quizzed the electorate’s favourite non-runner.

What’s your favourite colour?

A tough question to start off with that could land me in a libellous situation. I would have to say my favourite colour is transparency. Everything in the world should be painted transparent. It is a glowing colour that radiates confidence in a political system.

Describe your persona and character in as few words as possible

I am a very forgiving and generous person. My natural mandate, which is at the centre of my existence, is to promote more candidates to enter UCDSU elections. Even if I win, I instinctively pass up on the electorate’s call for me to take office and allow for nominations to reopen. I’m like the opposite of Michael Lowry.

Do you A.) Drink B.) Smoke C.) Take drugs?

A.) Only when I’m on drugs. B.) Only when I’m smoking. C.) Only when I’m drinking.

How do you spell sabbatical?

Sabbitticcal.

What’s your opinion on re-sit fees?

Pass your exams. That’s my opinion.

What race are you most confident of winning?

I feel I have a good grip on the Irish white Caucasian vote. They tend to vote in hordes and I’ve always maintained that if you can sway the vote of the white Irish students, then you’ll command a significant percentage of the vote.

You are commonly misinterpreted as a male character, why is this?

Well first of all, I am not a character. I am as real as the re-sit fees that every candidate claims they will get abolished. I suppose you could say that it’s all in the name; for better or for worse, my name has been associated with Ron Burgundy and Ron Weasley. Those are two very powerful male role models that have so much testosterone they inhibit any female oestrogen. Without diverging away on a tangent, the answer is sexism.

After 35 years of failure to achieve election to UCDSU, why keep going?

Another tough question. Well there are a number of factors that keep me going. After dropping my degree in 1975, I set aside a 30-year period in my life to run for UCDSU elections. Over those 30 years, I came agonisingly close on a few occasions, but never quite made it.

In 2005 I attempted to keep my promise that I made to myself and return to my Computer Science degree only to find that modularisation had been introduced. The horizons boat had set sail and I was left behind. Some of my buddies in USI also missed the boat and like me, they are stranded in Students’ Union politics, searching for a path out.

Transparency, discuss.

One man’s transparency is another’s humiliation. The word defines my campaign as much as my campaign defines it. My middle name is transparency. I am so transparent that you can’t see me, enough said.

Clique, discuss.

To me, clique means caring. If a by-product of that caring happens to be a career as a county counsellor for Dun Laoghaire-Rathdown, then so be it. I don’t view the Union as a clique; I view it as a stairway, a stairway to a heaven of filling in potholes and running tidy towns committees.

Sum up your campaign in one sentence.

I love the smell of transparency in the morning.

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