Andrew J Geeks

 
 

How do I write an article and not get sued?

 

Journalism is an ever-changing environment. Defamatory allegations, politically-motivated attacks, gossip, and scandal are the orders of the day while objective writing, the former standard of the industry, is often, and rightly, shunned; a mode discredited by the foolproof criticisms of the online gentry.

 

In this day and age, we suggest pushing the boundaries of investigative journalism using an innovative method of ‘throwing everything at the wall to see what sticks.’ Worry less about whether the article you’re writing is ‘true’ in a traditional sense, and more about whether there’s a chance it could be true.

 

The devil is in the detail, so avoid anything specific. Broad, sweeping generalisations should be welcomed, as well as a fundamental misrepresentation of the facts.

 

An additional benefit of ‘creative news journalism’ is that one is not tasked with finding sources to go on the record, or finding sources at all. The efficiency gains here in terms of content generation and turnover time are substantial.

 

Remember, you can’t be wrong every time.”

 

The College Tribune Guide to News Journalism is available on Kindle and all bad bookstores near you.

 

How do I find a date to a ball? (any ball at all will do)

 

When it comes to dating, most Australian men tend to suffer from a collective lack of self-confidence, most likely stemming from our losing a war to a herd of flightless birds in the early part of the 20th Century.

 

In an effort to combat ‘la hésitation collective,’ I’ve often spent many Friday afternoons trying to stay abreast of developments in the dating world, seeking sage wisdom from the Clubhouse regulars and UCD’s Deity of Dating – Robert Sweeney.

 

If I’ve learned anything, it’s to avoid asking a student of medicine – they’re the only thing more likely to make you nauseous than the questionably poor quality of food you’ll be provided with on the night of the ball. While courting a commerce or law student might mean you won’t have to worry about making interesting conversation, you’ll likely be rather fed up with having to remind them to breathe, blink, and drink water every so often.

 

By far, the easiest way to find a date to a ball this semester is simply to hang around the SU corridor and wait for any of this year’s SU candidates to ask you for your support. As long as you say that you’re an undecided voter, you’ll have them running Circles around you all night long.

Advertisements