Agony Anto

 
 

Shootin’ the breeze since before ammunition was illegal, wha’

Dear Anthony,

Please place the following narrative in a letters section:

The uneven distribution of resources worldwide with extreme poverty evident in large  parts of the continent of Africa for example makes me evaluate the most effective and  efficient means of rectifying such problems. It appears that the western worlds solution of providing resources such as food and clothing is only exacerbating the situation. This invariably leads to the further multiplication of people for example on the continent of Africa which the provision of resources can not keep up with. This results in a continuing cycle of poverty and starvation which only sustains the problem. A co-ordinated effort of people from developed countries lending their skills and expertise to local communities within these impoverished areas such as in house building, obtaining clean water, securing food, family planning and contraception in the short and medium term would enable such communities to thrive in the long term, reducing extreme poverty and starvation.

Yours,
Ryan Kelly

Dear Kelly,
I don’t know what your getting’ at here, but its looks like you want us to up-and-leave Ireland, and just build stuff in Africa, ye fooking clep. Fuddermore, wha’ yeh expect us in a college newspaper te do about it?

In da furst paragraph, you sed that “providing resources such as food and clothing is only exacerbating the situation”, then yeh go on te say that we need to lend our skills in “house building, obtaining clean water, securing food, blah blah blah”. Yur letter is about as redundant as a desk fan in space. Stop wastin’ me bleedin time here.
Yurs,

Anto.

Dear Anto,
By definition, mature students are older than the average student and have years of experience “out there” in the “real world”. This experience has an effect on all aspects of our student life, and shapes our attitudes towards many things that younger students take for granted. The road to university is not as clear-cut as it is to a student leaving school, and there are many additional factors that come in to play. Money is a Big Deal, since many (if not most) mature students are doing a second degree (at least), and do not qualify for “free fees”. Many do not enjoy any form of financial support from parents – often, we are the parents. Family commitments need to be considered too, and an understanding and supportive partner can make university an adventure rather than a burden.

[yawn]

…I think I speak for all mature students when I say that we’re all in this together, and we can all help each other get the best out of our time at university.

Yours,
Mark Dobson

Dear Mark,
I had to play choppy-whop with yur letter cos it bored me to bits. As far as I can see, you already have a job, so stop wasting seats in this precious university wit yur wrinkled buttock and do a jigsaw puzzle, wil’eh?

I’m sure us immature students wohint mind that Old Soc kin only vaguely resemble a coffin of stiff fucks takin’ up teacher’s toime with their inane and irrelevant anecdotes.
Yurs,

Anto

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