With summer plans on everyone’s minds, Emily Longworth takes a look at the chooooons that will make your summer truly epic
Prodigy –‘Take Me to the Hospital’
To be played directly after you attend a foam party in high heels, hosted by a club that has tiled floors. Alternatively, you may get into a fight with a native owing to your casual racism whilst inebriated. Luckily, either mishap will open up a whole new chapter of holiday misadventure to you – the A&E drinking game!
The Dubliners – ‘Seven Drunken Nights’
It is true that every Irish person hates every other Irish person until they go abroad, at which point they share a profound and deep connection. Uniting them in their newfound harmony are the songs of the Dubliners. You won’t need to know any of the lyrics to sing along, an indistinguishable warbling will suffice.
Darude – ‘Sandstorm’
One of those filthy techno anthems that you can never remember the name of, but recognise ‘the way it goes’. Accordingly, you will bring your best shelf-stacking moves to the floor when you hear it playing on the booze cruise around Gran Canaria. Or maybe you won’t, because you’ll have passed out on a Spaniard.
Divine Comedy – ‘Pop Singer’s Fear of the Pollen Count’
In one of the most jovially up-beat summer ballads ever written, Neil Hannon grapples with the burden of having hay fever – a harsh reality for so many Irish holiday-makers.
Mickey Joe Hart – ‘We’ve Got the World‘
Ireland’s former Eurovision hopeful has been off the radar since his appearance on RTÉ’s Celebrities Go Wild back in 2007, but when you arrive in Santa Ponsa ready for a week long piss-up, you’ll see that he’s been busy playing gigs in Shamrock’s Irish bar three nights a week. Without fail, he ends every set with this song.
The Doors – ‘Alabama Song (Show Me the Way to the Next Whiskey Bar)’
Jim Morrison here acknowledges the universal truth that when one desires to be shown the way to the next whiskey bar, nothing – nothing – can deter or suppress the urge of this desire, apart from the actual production of a whiskey bar. Don’t leave anything to chance kids; just bring them to the damn whiskey bar.
Vengaboys – ‘We’re Going to Ibiza’
With all the mentions of Venga Airways and Vengabuses in their music, one could easily mistake the complete anthology of the Vengaboys to be the promotional efforts of Venga Corp. That’s until the chorus kicks in, and the marriage of steel drums with synths restores the true message of the song: they’re going to Ibiza.
Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky – ‘Romeo and Juliet Fantasy Overture’
To celebrate never having to analyse the set works on the LC music curriculum ever again, throw on the full seventeen-minute version of “Jack-off-ski’s” Fantasy Overture during pre-drinks. Drink every time the horn enters the piece.
Primal Scream – ‘Loaded’
The opening statement ‘We wanna be free, and we wanna get loaded, and we wanna have a good time’ earns this song its place on this playlist, and the seven minutes of psychedelic-gospel euphoria makes for ideal listening while you steal a few cheeky afternoon cans by the family pool in your hotel.
Pulp – ‘Sorted for E’s and Wizz’
The world’s greatest ode to illegal drugs is the definitive soundtrack to your accumulated holiday hangover. Especially relevant if you’ve chosen a music festival as your destination – just remember not to leave an important part of your brain out there, somewhere in a field in Hampshire.