Mix Tape: Top ten moustachioed artists

 
 

With Movember in full-bloom Caitríona O’Malley twirls her imaginary moustache and looks at some of the most impressive facial fuzz that music has to offer

‘Molly’s Chambers’- Kings of Leon

From their masses of goatees, beards and ‘tashes you just know that this band of brothers and the ugly cousin drink whiskey from a leather pouch, went hunting for their din-dins and went to mass every Sunday morning with blood on their knuckles. It is the wayward approach to male grooming that leaves us with this impression.

‘Monkey Wrench’- Foo Fighters

Marvel at that badass raven goatee seductively caressing Dave Grohl’s chin. This man can work a beard with great passion and agility; it becomes a part of him like a silent whisper of razors past.

‘Strawberry Fields Forever’- The Beatles

By the late ‘60s, the Liverpool lads had abandoned the moptops and warmly embraced peachy fluff fuzz. Two words: Ringo’s moustache. Be stricken with awe at its seemingly limitless powers.

‘Gay Bar’- Electric Six

Admittedly, these suave beards are fake, but could still fell a man from 50 paces, such is their level of burly sophistication. Rumour has it Daniel Day-Lewis watched this while massaging his chinny chin chin to prepare for his role as Abraham Lincoln.

‘In Bloom’- Nirvana

A trim and barely there little goatee from Kurt here. He may prance around in a nightdress as see-through as his mustache at one point in the video, but that neatly tended rectangular bit of fluff oozes with masculinity.

‘On Raglan Road’- Luke Kelly

A beautiful song from a legendary Irishman who wore his enormous and fearsome ginger beard with understandable pride. Luke Kelly’s beard allegedly increased Irish tourism in the year 1971 by a whopping 10%, Americans charged up to 10 pence for a rub of the ‘giant man’s magical leprechaun beard’.

‘Radio Ga Ga’- Queen

No one pulled off the slick, faintly porn star moustache quite like the late Freddie Mercury. Somewhat homoerotic and very cool, some say it was cultivated to draw attention away from his teeth, with questionable success as the moustache actually bypassing his mouth and heading straight for his chin.

‘Stand by Me’- Ben E. King

Originally recorded in 1961 and re-released to coincide with Rob Reiner’s 1986 coming of age film of the same name. This one is bushy, bristling and simply bursting with unbridled testosterone. It is also, dare one use this adjective, funky?

‘Dancing in the Moonlight’- Thin Lizzy

Phil Lynott’s moustache was thinner and more shapely than Ben’s, but no less fabulous. It takes a brave man to risk a moustache with an Afro and Phil did it with buckets of swag.

‘Champagne Supernova’- Oasis

At over seven minutes long, this song can only be described as an epic. It was released in the undeniable heyday of Oasis in the mid ‘90s, 1996 to be precise. Gaze in wonder at the impressive brown beard on Liam Gallagher’s previously clean shaven face. Add to this those round glasses and he’s certainly rocking a very distinguished look. Everyone knows men with beards are deep and philosophical, even if we may never know if they use shampoo or shower gel on their face fuzz.

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