Review – Cop to the Future and Back III: No Subtitle Necessary

 
 

Title: Cop to the Future and Back III: No Subtitle Necessary

Director: David Reilly

Starring: Conor Barry, Cailbhe Doherty and Lionel Richie

Release Date: Out Now

Oh, yes. The series some people said they couldn’t care less about, and others said they really couldn’t care less about, is back once more for an inconceivable amount of brick-shitting amazement. The movies’ best known Jewish ex-cop time-traveller and taxidermy enthusiast Harvey Price is in the deep end for the third installment in the Cop to the Future and Back series, and hardcore fanboys will most probably be disappointed – this one is outstandingly mediocre, and the third one in a trilogy is usually the shit one anyway.

Cop to the Future and Back: No Subtitle Necessary’s story is set in the years following the last of the British Prime Minister beat downs in which a topless Harvey Price ran about yelling “jive turkey!” at David Lloyd George while kicking him in the shins. It sees the detective’s moustached infant son Jorge reunite with Veloci-Rapper (voiced by Cailbhe Doherty) as the pair travel through the space-time portal in search of rogue detective Price and his rabbit.
But forget about the plot (because the film sure does) and just sit back and enjoy the juggernaut of mind-blowing action, mild homoeroticism and intense games of crazy golf in all their cinemaphoric quadrovisual glory. Although technology still limits David Reilly’s boundary-pushing brilliance in the director’s chair he hasn’t forgotten his roots, and there are obvious references to Blackula, Nude Nuns with Big Guns, and Another Funny Movie Title peppered throughout. It is also worth staying behind for the Bollywood-style credit sequence as Veloci-Rapper insults each member of the crew through – wouldn’t you know it – the medium of rap, while Harvey lays down some tasty beats. The director also has a two-hour long message at the end which can be best summarised as “You’re welcome, World.”

Placing this film in the pantheon of cinema history is difficult. Altogether it’s best to say this is the movie a Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and Three Men and a Baby hybrid would have been if its cocaine-fuelled weekend bender went on a cocaine-fuelled weekend bender, got lost in Coppers because he couldn’t find his friends in the stupid place, and was found a few days later face down in a puddle of his own vomit with a traffic cone on his head. Expect with more moustached babies.

In a Nutshell: The most Jewish time-travelling badassery you’ve seen in a tween drama since My Crowbar Mitzvah

Dermot O’Rourke

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