If you ask any number of people with apiphobia, the fear of bees, they might tell you that the mass disappearance of bees isn’t such a bad thing. However, many species – including humans – depend on the pollinising role of bees for their very survival. The word apiphobia is derived from the Latin word ‘apiary’, meaning beehive, and it so happens that all over the world, for no apparent reason, beehives are being found utterly abandoned.

The phenomenon of bee disappearances has been termed Colony Collapse Disorder (CCD), and it has baffled beekeepers and scientists. In over 30 American states, several Canadian provinces and a number of European countries, entire colonies – each with up to 40,000 bees or more – have vanished without a trace.

What is more puzzling is that they have left their Queen, eggs and honey behind – very uncommon behaviour in such social insects such as honeybees. There are no corpses to be found, and no clues as to where the bees have migrated. Strangely, predators of beehives such as wax moths – which would normally relish the opportunity to feast on unguarded honey – will not enter the hives for several weeks or longer.

Historically, bees have been used to pollinate crops since ancient Egypt, when they were sent down the Nile. In America each year, roughly $14 billion dollars worth of crops depend on bee pollination to survive – which include seeded fruits such as apples and oranges.

In Ireland, it is not uncommon for farmers to import bee colonies from mainland Europe to help pollinate crops to improve their yield. Crops such as oilseed rape and strawberries benefit from the active introduction of colonies.

The constant use of bees in an ever-expanding and demanding industry, however, takes its toll on the colonies. Forcing bees to continuously visit commercially cultivated crops exposes them to pesticides, parasites and other pathogens, as well as causing them the stress of constantly being shipped around. Since their natural habitat has been taken away, they are often undernourished, feeding only on one of several crops rather than the multitude of plants they would encounter in a natural habitat.

All of these stresses are likely to weaken their immune system, forming the basis of one of several theories that have been put forth to explain this strange behaviour. One theory portends that all of these stresses are making the bees more susceptible to viruses and parasites such as the varroa mite.

A predominant theory is that pesticides, specifically a newer type referred to as neonicotinoids, are largely responsible for CCD. These pesticides were partially banned in France in 1999, and have been banned in other European countries intermittently over the last decade. Research indicates that in high doses, these pesticides can interfere with the navigation system in bees, which relies on a complex array of inputs, including the position of the sun, the magnetic field of the earth and the unique scent of the hive. These pesticides have also been the focus of a new documentary released in the UK, which attempts to draw a connection between the use of these pesticides and CCD.

One of the principle manufacturers of these products, Bayer CropScience, denies the association between CCD and their product, and roundly refutes the claims made in the film. The film is slated to be released outside of the UK in the near future.

There are less credible – and plainly ludicrous – theories as well. One is that Osama bin Laden has somehow planned and executed a honeybee massacre to devastate American agriculture. Another, slightly more credible, is that genetically modified crops containing a specific pesticide are killing bees. And one study suggesting mobile phone radiation might be involved, was blown out of proportion and became a media frenzy in America.

One of the most intriguing theories revolves around the discovery of a number of newly discovered viruses, which have been found to affect domesticated bees. One of these, the Israeli Acute Paralysis Virus (IPAV) causes paralysis and bizarre behaviour in bees, however there is no conclusive research to suggest a strong association between it and CCD. Furthermore, some have postulated that viruses carried by Varroa mites may have become more virulent to bees – maybe because of their weakened immune system.

It has therefore been suggested that a new strain of virus may have infected bees, and are causing these mass desertions. Most likely, it is the combination of one or more of the above factors, plus the inordinate stress places on bees, that create the specific circumstances for CCD. Others however, argue that the only reason new viruses are showing up in bees is because their immune systems are being weakened by something larger and more sinister.

It is likely that it will take years before any convincing evidence is found to discern its cause. In the meantime, most experts are hoping that it is not due to an infectious disease – otherwise the picture may look very bleak indeed.

Mass disappearances have occurred before, and have been dated back to the 1800s, but their causes have never been fully determined. Most recently they were reported in the 1920s and 1960s. Is it possible that this phenomenon is part of a natural cycle? If so, it must be taken into account just how far this might go – to date, some have estimated that approximately 34 per cent of American bees have been affected by CCD.

Dr Maria Spivak of the University of Minnesota agrees that bees are largely quite stressed, and believes that they provide a sensitive reflection of the environment and our impact upon it. When they collect and return food to their nests, they concentrate the contaminants in the foods and create a toxic living environment.

Pollinating bees are responsible for the growth of up to one third of the world’s food supply. Perhaps bees are serving as a microcosm of the general world we live in – and if this is the case, it makes it all the more important to understand what is happening to our honeybees.

In the 1870s, a French scientist named Jean-Henri Fabre studied moths and discovered that male moths travelled exceptionally large distances to visit a female. He theorised that female moths were sending out chemical signals to attract the male – in other words, a type of pheromone.

Since Fabre’s discovery, pheromones have been discovered almost everywhere. In the 1980s, human sex pheromones were discovered: it transpired that people emitted odourless chemicals with the sole goal of eliciting a carnal response from the opposite sex.

The role of pheromones in human mating behaviour may be stronger than you might expect. The human immune system is governed by a set of genes called the Major Histocompatibility Complex (MHC), which are a set of blueprints for immune function. Animal studies in the 1990s indicate that an animal’s scent carries information about their MHC – and generally, animals are attracted to mates with a dissimilar MHC so as to make sure that their offspring have a diverse, stronger immune system.

Human studies have indicated that when women are fertile, they prefer the scent of men who have a more diverse set of MHC genes. Other studies have indicated that the scent of mates who are more dissimilar in their MHC profiles may influence the choice of partner. The question remains, however: does this actually change human behaviour in the real world?

According to the above studies, men were adjudged to prefer the scent of women who were either facially attractive or fertile. Scent obviously holds a lot of information – and whether or not we consciously perceive it, it may influence our behaviour in subtle ways.

Pheromones are believed to be governed by hormones, and are therefore open to manipulation from external sources. Several studies have shown women using birth control tend to favour men with more similar MHC profiles, than when they are off the Pill. Recently, British researchers from the University of Sheffield concluded that the use of birth control can genuinely change what type of men women are attracted to.

Those women whose hormonal cycle is controlled by oral contraception are, apparently, more likely to be attracted to effeminate men. They postulate that these women choose mates who are more genetically similar – and this may pose a problem with fertility. Women off the Pill, however, are more likely to seek out more competitive, rugged, muscular men who are genetically dissimilar to themselves.

Some scientists believe that because the Pill mimics the effects of pregnancy, women who are on contraceptives may be attracted to nurturing relatives, and therefore those with similar genes, rather than potential mates who would be genetically different. This theory fits neatly with the researched evidence thus far.

A study published in Psychological Science found that women paired with men with similar MCH profiles were less sexually satisfied, and more likely to cheat on their partners. Essentially, if a woman were to enter a relationship on the Pill, she might be more likely to be with someone with a similar MHC profile – and if she subsequently went off the Pill she would be more attracted to other, MHC-dissimilar males, greatly raising the chances of an affair.

Pheromones may also carry information about female fertility. Hormonal changes that take place over the course of the female fertility cycle may help give off chemical signals that are subtly alluring to men. The Pill, therefore, can also interfere with natural attraction, but this has not been conclusively proven.

Though it is interesting to note how pheromone signals could be altered by extrinsic hormonal regulation, it is not to say that the Pill is a problematic drug. The laws of attraction and mating are too vast and complex to be reduced to simple hormones and pheromones. In other words, don’t stop taking the Pill just because of this article. I don’t want you knocking on my door with your unplanned kids.

That said, it appears as though pheromones are a medium through which a potential mate can convey information about their genes and fertility status, and maybe more. It’s possible that in the future we could use complex genetic testing, compatibility surveys, and an abundance of other media – which, admittedly, would cost thousands – to find a suitable mate.

All of this information seems to be readily available in our scent, and the evidence thus far indicates that at some level, the receiving person can decode, and is influenced, by the information in our pheromones.

Strictly speaking, it is important to understand from the off that cars are female. They are strikingly similar to the fairer sex: they require regular maintenance and care, are often temperamental, and it seems newer models are increasingly, mind-blowingly complicated. Plus, they can cost a fortune.
This is perhaps why men form such amorous bonds with our cars. Unlike the opposite sex, we eventually figure out how cars work, and a beautiful, storybook romance is born. There exists only one key for your car’s ignition, so to speak.
Women of course form a strong camaraderie with their cars as well, but like two powerful, deadly organisms forming an alliance, there is a loveless agreement between them: to get to the shopping sale first, leaving carnage in their wake.
That said, shouldn’t we understand our friend/lover better? What exactly happens under the hood of your car? There are several systems that work together to make a car go. The first, and often most mysterious, is the motor.
Imagine you put a lit firecracker into an empty Pringles jar, and shoved an empty Coke can on top. When the firecracker blows, the can would shoot out, and you’d probably spend some time in A&E. This is the general principle on which a motor works.

“Imagine you put a lit firecracker into an empty Pringles jar, and shoved an empty Coke can on top. When the firecracker blows, the can would shoot out, and you’d probably spend some time in A&E. This is the general principle on which a motor works”

In the motor block, a cylinder (the Pringles jar) exists with a piston inside (can). When a mixture of air and gasoline are ignited under the piston, it fires upward. A rod attached to the top of the piston spins a shaft, which eventually spins the wheels. Each piston does this several times a second.
Now imagine if you had four cylinders in a row: the motor would have four times as much power! This is why we have 4, 6, and even 8 cylinder motors. A V8 is an 8-cylinder motor where the cylinders stick out of the block in a V shape. More cylinders mean more power. And men never over-compensate – there is no such thing. Quite simple, really.
The complicated part is the timing of when each cylinder fires. If they all fired at once, there would be a huge force on the shaft, but then as they all reset for another fire, the shaft would slow down. The result would be a slooow, fast!, sloooow, fast! motion of the car, over and over, on your way to the A&E with an aluminium Coke can lodged in your skull.
To make things smooth, each piston fires one at a time, in a cycle. The higher you rev the motor, the faster each piston fires, and the faster the cycle – thus increasing your rounds per minute, i.e. your RPM.
So now we have this spinning shaft: how does this translate to power at the wheels? It is transmitted through the transmission.
The transmission essentially delivers the power of the motor to the wheels, but does it in a smart way. Imagine, if you will, a 40-stone Hilary Duff. She could probably push a dumptruck up a hill, but it would be impossible for her to run over 20 km/h. The first gear of your transmission acts the same way – from a standstill, you need to move your very heavy car forward; this is called torque. But as a result, you sacrifice top speed.
As you progress through the gears, your transmission acts less like Duff, and more like a long distance runner – a much higher top speed, but utterly unable to push a heavy object – so once you reach fifth gear, you can go very fast, but you can’t accelerate very quickly (as you could in first). This is the reason you can’t start your car in fifth gear!
This brings us to the clutch, which plays an integral role in the relationship between motor and transmission.  If you were to engage the motor straight into the transmission, you would be jamming an object travelling at over 2000 RPM into a stationary object. The engine would simply seize and die. This is actually what happens when you stall your car.
Instead, the clutch acts as a method of ‘easing’ the motor into the transmission. When the clutch is engaged, the motor and transmission are completely apart. As you let go of the clutch, the two slowly come together, but timing is everything. If you let go too quickly, the motor engages with the transmission too fast, and you stall.
When you want to switch gears, you activate the clutch – which pulls apart the motor and transmission – then change the gears, and release the clutch again, letting the motor re-engage. This is also why a clutch wears out over time: it absorbs the power of the motor so that the engagement of the motor and transmission is more gradual, and as a result takes quite a beating.
Now let’s revisit the motor. Although its primary role is to transfer power to the wheels, it has a lot of other roles as well. Among these is providing power to the fan belt and alternator.
The alternator is a particularly important aspect of the engine. When it spins, it provides electricity to the car for the lights and radio, but also for the spark plugs in the motor. Spark plugs are what ‘spark’ the ignition of fuel to drive the piston. Without it, the car, and your tunes, will die.
Since the motor is a constantly moving machine composed of metal, it becomes very hot due to friction. To remedy this, oil is used to lubricate the moving parts. Under such intense stress, bits of metal from the motor inevitably break off. The oil also breaks down, becoming less effective. This is why oil is changed regularly.
To keep the motor from overheating, water or coolant is also run throughout the motor to absorb heat from its moving parts. This superheated fluid is sent to the ‘radiator’ to radiate the heat away, which is smartly placed in front of the car so when travelling forward, thus allowing wind can help scatter the heat.
This effect is amplified by a large fan behind the radiator which is often driven by the motor, via a belt. The squealing you hear from old cars is often from the fan belt, the alternator belt, or the orange high-heeled Freshers trying to run off the road.
And of course, some cars are prettier than others when it comes to the exterior. ‘Accessories’ such as spoilers (hair), exhaust tips (mini-skirts), rims (high-heels), and dice (earrings) all help to glamourise your baby. But at the end of the day, the knowledgeable will realise it’s what’s beneath the hood that counts – and partly the junk in your trunk.

It is interesting then, to consider what effect different eating times have on the health of each family. A 2006 study from Oregon Health and Science University reported that an individual’s calorie intake alone was singly responsible in determining the person’s weight gain. According to the study, the time of consumption – how late the subject ate their main meal of the day – was not an important factor.

“Night eating increases the likelihood of sleeping problems and is also related to binge eating”

This study, however, was only based on sixteen female Rhesus monkeys, who had had their ovaries removed and whose eating habits were studied for one year. Though monkeys are considered an excellent model for human physiology, the size of the group, and the methodology of the study – strictly observing their natural eating habits and drawing conclusions – makes it difficult to readily accept the conclusions of this study.

Before you tuck into your routine post-pub indulgence, it would be wise to consider several studies released in recent years. A 2009 study published in Obesity, examining various sets of Swedish twins – where only one twin was obese – indicated that rates of night eating, defined as consuming more than a quarter of one’s caloric intake at night, are roughly double in the clinically obese. Additionally, night eating increases the likelihood of sleeping problems and is also related to binge-eating.

Another study, published by the Center for Sleep and Circadian Biology in Illinois, has drawn the conclusion that circadian rhythms – your ‘body clock’ – play an important role in weight management. Nocturnal mice were fed only during daylight hours, when they should be sleeping, and then compared to mice who were fed during normal waking hours. The caloric intake and activity of all mice were the same – but the mice fed during sleeping hours gained significantly more weight.

Although the latest study was exclusively carried out on mice (and therefore, the closest evolutionary relative to a UCD Fresher), the general principles applied within the study are translatable to human physiology.

Circadian rhythms are the natural, cyclic changes in your brain that regulate sleep, hunger, hormone release (and therefore sexual drive) and also regulate the metabolic activities of the body. It is not inconceivable that caloric intake at times of varied metabolic activity could influence the way calories are utilized.

It is important to note however, that extra eating at night is undoubtedly unhealthy. Additional night-time calories, for instance after a solid supper and a few beers, is obviously destined to end up as extra weight. The debate rumbles on, however, whether or not routinely late evening meals are detrimental to one’s health.

SCANTILY-CLAD WOMEN everywhere; suggestive poses; oiled skin; seductive interplay of light and shadow to create a sensual image… oh, and please attend the debate on the objectification of women in modern society, etc. You may see a few dozen of these posters in front of the James Joyce Library as you emerge from the smoke-cloud beset upon its front steps.

Most people who find these images disagreeable, do so because they feel such posters don’t belong in the corridors of an institute of higher learning. To some, however, they represent a deeper and more systemic problem in the student-governance of our university.

It is said that the evolution of higher consciousness requires the development of self-awareness. This leads to the ability to reflect, to exercise more control, and take more responsibility for our actions. Our student body – a thriving, changing organism – should be expected to evolve in the same way.

Too often in the recent past we have neglected to exercise self-awareness beyond the simple scope of a token debate or rally. The time is ripe for students to take responsibility for their own actions, yet we continue to let these opportunities slip by.

The annual back-and-forth over society posters is a prime example. For years our student governance has had the chance to step in and institute a poster-checking policy, where before anything can be posted in a public area, an appropriate official could veto it. An offending party (be it a club, society or business) could be fined, or banned from posting again.

“Should we wait until a poster really upsets someone, the national media get involved, and the UCD administration fill this regulatory role instead?”

This isn’t about free speech, it’s about students governing students. Should we wait until a poster really upsets someone, the national media get involved, and the UCD administration fill this regulatory role instead – thus quashing yet more student autonomy?

This is simply one example of the lack of self-responsibility of our student body. The sale of cigarettes on campus is another. We sell Fair Trade coffee, organic fruit, recycled paper, and we banned Nestlé and Coca-Cola – yet implicitly endorse smoking!

As a student body we have the ability to control our own destiny, to set ourselves upon a path of intellect, ethic and principle. We have unlimited opportunities to illustrate that our moral compass points true – but neglect to do so.

I know the free speech/will/the-dolphins brigades will find this abhorrent, but implementing ethical policies takes nothing away from a student’s free will, nor is it paternalistic in nature. They are simply steps towards students taking responsibility for their own actions.

With ambition, vision, and courage, we could begin building a distinct student voice within campus. The significant principle exhibited by a small act like taking control of posters could be extrapolated to a far greater extent.

Students host many events around campus every year, and people misbehave at every single one of them. Just as with the posters, we are content to sit back and allow UCD itself mete out punishment. This is not to imply that UCD are unfair or unjust – but wouldn’t a student-centred, student-operated discipline programme be much better?

I’m not speaking of simply banning a student from the Forum Bar for a semester; this goes beyond simple discipline. If students could implement formal peer-driven discipline, we could create a distinctly unique, transparent, open process to deal with misbehaviour. The benefits of self-regulation would be astronomical. Rather than an arbitrary ruling, a student would face a jury of their peers, better understand the significance of their actions, and accept a decision far more readily.

The development of self-regulatory systems would make our student body more autonomous, and give us more power over our own affairs – and ultimately, would enhance our position on campus around the decision-making tables.

Of course the ideas expressed here would take years to implement – but that should be a motivating factor, not a deterrent. We must start somewhere, anywhere; perhaps posters are the perfect place.

If we can do posters, maybe we can do more. We can grow, change, evolve. Twenty years from now, the political atmosphere on this campus could be very different – with a robust, influential and powerful student government, but it starts with today, and us, becoming aware.

According to the British Department of Health, between December 1980 and January 2005 more than 123,000 women travelled to the UK for abortions. For these women, the reasons for pursuing abortion were likely complex and multiple, however the reason for travelling to the UK was, and is, straightforward – according to Irish law, it is simply illegal to have an abortion.

The offi cial numbers published by the British Ministry of Health are likely an underestimation, as many women may not list their Irish address when visiting British clinics. And these values do not refl ect those who travelled to other countries, such as the Netherlands in the pursuit of terminations of pregnancies.

Ireland’s abortion laws are among the most restrictive in Europe – amongst the most restrictive of all developed nations. Under Irish law a woman can risk life imprisonment for pursuing an elective abortion within the State, unless the pregnancy risks the mother’s life, or she is suicidal as a result of it.

To complicate matters, an abortion that occurs indirectly as a result of standard medical care for the mother – for instance an emergency heart transplant – is not against the law. It is important to note that the law differentiates between risk to maternal life and risk to health. Abortion within Ireland can only be considered if the mother’s life is at risk. And that distinction is very diffi cult to make.

In 2007, ‘Miss D’, a 17 year-old female, was told her foetus had anencephaly – missing its brain and a portion of its skull. After it was explained that the baby would not be able to survive once born, she decided to pursue an abortion – otherwise she would have to carry the baby to term – avoiding both the physical and psychological trauma.

But since the pregnancy itself wouldn’t risk her life – she was forced to travel abroad to terminate the pregnancy. Once the Health Service Executive (HSE) were alerted to her intentions, they tried to bar her from doing so, but many court cases later, and after the HSE changed their position, the Supreme Court upheld her decision to travel.

Women who choose to terminate an abnormal foetus also forfeit the post-mortem analysis and counselling that would be afforded other women in their native countries. According to Dr McKenna, Master at the Rotunda Hospital, during his comments to the All-party Committee in 2000, “[foetal abnormalities] are diagnosed in maternity hospitals, and because those foetal abnormalities have recurrence rate in future pregnancy, it is important that these patients should have the best information available on their babies’ post mortems and on the likely risk of recurrence.”

“Ireland’s abortion laws are among the most restrictive in Europe – amongst the most restrictive of all develped nations”

By law, Irish doctors cannot condone or support abortion in any way. Therefore, it is more diffi cult for women to obtain their medical records before they travel – increasing the risk of complications and making management more diffi cult. The issue of complication is especially relevant for those women who decide to terminate due to foetal abnormality, such as with Miss D.

Dr McKenna illustrated the problem during the 2000 All-party Committee. “We are probably a little bit guarded as to what advice we can give, or we feel we can give. What I would like to move to is a situation where we could discuss this openly”. And after such instances as the Miss D case, women are less likely to speak openly with healthcare professionals about their intentions.

In 2006, over 5000 women travelled to the UK for an abortion. The majority of these women were between the ages of 20 to 30. Contrary to belief, in recent years teenagers only comprise approximately 12 per cent of the overall total.

The Irish Family Planning Association (IFPA) is a front-line agency that deals with women in crisis pregnancies and therefore is in an ideal position to convey their experiences. According to Niall Behan, the Chief Executive of the IFPA, women who pursue abortions are “from all social classes, and all age groups. We see single women and we see married women.”

The emotional burden of abortion is tremendous for all women, and even more so for Irish women who must travel overseas. Many do so in secret, for risk of social stigmatisation, harassment or embarrassment. They often cannot confi de in their friends or family, and are isolated with an incredibly taxing ordeal.

The fi nancial cost of an overseas abortion is also burdensome. According to Behan “with travel and with getting the procedure carried out and accommodation you’re talking about €1,000”. Women who pursue abortions have to make preparations and raise the money in a very short amount of time.

“By law, Irish doctors cannot condone or support abortion in any way”

Though unplanned pregnancies comprise the majority of cases, a number of women travel due to unviable pregnancies. Behan estimates that these comprise of 1-2 per cent of all cases. Concurrently, Dr McKenna estimates that approximately 50 women leave Ireland each year to terminate severely abnormal foetuses. Ireland has one of the highest incidence rates of neural tube defects in the world, which increases the rate of unviable foetuses and thus compounds the problem surrounding abnormal foetal termination.

These abnormalities are due, in part, to the lack of folic acid in the Irish daily diet. Many other countries mandate folic acid supplementation in common foods such as orange juice and bread – not so in Ireland.

Irish abortion law is simply exporting a problem that exists in modern society. The current legislature was implemented in 1861, and amended in 1983. It is not surprising that such an archaic law – written and introduced more than 100 years ago, is inept in the current social climate. It has failed to curtail the rates of abortion, is simply driving the problem underground, and forcing women to undergo unnecessary hardship.

In fact, from 1992 to 2004, total numbers of Irish abortions in the UK have increased steadily. In 2005 and 2006 the rates of abortion did decrease, however this may be due to the fact that more women are travelling to nations other than the UK.

Medical professionals and agencies such as the IFPA argue that the law needs to be changed. “It would be our view coming from our services that it should be, the law itself has done nothing to reduce the number of abortions, what we’ve seen the amendment in 1983… is a huge increase in the number of women travelling to the UK for terminations. Having a law that criminalises abortions does nothing to reduce the abortion rate at all.”

Master and consultant Obstetrician at Coombe Hospital, Dr Sean Daly’s comments to the All-committee in 2000 underline this idea. When asked whether in the case of a fatally abnormal foetus, a woman should have the option of termination in Ireland or a referral overseas, he replied “Yes I do. I think women deserve a choice there, though, because ultimately being pregnant is a more dangerous time than not being pregnant, and the reason that we justify that increased risk, albeit a small increase in risk, is because a pregnancy is going to result in the birth of a live baby.”

In other words, in the case where a foetus is not viable, it is both unnecessary and potentially perilous to force the woman to carry to full term. Yet medical professionals who concur with this opinion feel handcuffed by current law. Under these circumstances, agencies such as the IFPA are stepping in to fi ll the void. They provide pre and post-abortion counselling and impartial advice for pregnant women.

According to Mr Behan, “What we do is… give non-directive counselling. If a woman has a crisis pregnancy, what we’re compelled by the law to do is discuss her options. There are three options: she can go for adoption, she could go for parenting, or she could go for termination.”

The example of Miss D, and the thousands of women who travel abroad every year for terminations, serve to illustrate the necessity to re-examine current abortion law. The adversity Irish women must endure, due to outdated and ineffective policy, is unjustifi able. Regardless of the public opinion regarding abortion, it goes without saying that those who require the most representation – and protection – are getting none at all.

FALLING IN LOVE is a complex and phenomenal process. It may involve physical attraction, emotional attachment, or a yacht in Monaco. But some scientists believe that our feelings, and to a large extent, behaviour is governed by chemical interactions within our brain.

Central to this theory are compounds such as oxytocin. Historically, oxytocin has been associated with childbirth, however more recent evidence suggests that it has a role as a cuddling drug.

Let’s start at the beginning. When boy meets girl (or any variation of the above), they date, dance, and eventually participate in the nocturnal horizontal mambo. At this point, oxytocin levels in both sexes, shoot through the roof. It has been postulated that this is partly responsible for the post-cotial feeling of well-being.

Oxytocin levels are further maintained by intimacy – touching, kissing, and surviving the in-laws. The chemical in turn promotes this type of bonding behaviour. Professor Gareth Leng of the University of Edinburgh believes this initial surge of excitement rewires the brain, creating permanent bonds with their partners.

This phenomenon is exemplified in the North American Prairie Vole. Prairie Voles mate for life, and this bond is established over a frantic 48 hours of sexual activity – no surprise considering it’s their first experience. When oxytocin receptors in the Vole’s brain are blocked, the males don’t bond – they move on and try to mate with someone else.

This effect has also been noted in human studies, however not to the same extent. Studies have shown that romantic attachment is rewarded by an increase in oxytocin levels in our brain. Women usually have more oxytocin levels than men, and therefore exhibit this type of behaviour on a more regular basis.

Furthermore, during sexual intercourse, female oxytocin levels increase significantly. The oxytocin response in men however, seems to be much more uneven. It may or may not shoot up during sex, and is variably prolonged. Based upon this evidence, some relationship experts have concluded that this may account for the differing one-night-stand behaviour between the sexes. They fail to consider, however, that men are also jerk-like in nature.

After the first few months, the picture becomes muddled. Dr Helen Fisher explains that oxytocin levels decline approximately eight months after the initial romance period. This may attribute to a drop in interest between partners – and the subsequent stagnation of the relationship. Oxytocin levels can be kept higher with excitement – like Homer and Marge or Carrie and Mr Big.

Oxytocin is also implicated in other pair-bonding scenarios. Levels increase when men or women are shown pictures of their long-term partner. And oxytocin levels increase in women when they are shown pictures of their children.

So, women become all lovey-dovey because of oxytocin, but what about men? Studies have shown that men have their ‘chemical’ as well. In one study, men were tricked into thinking they were coming in for a simple saliva test, whereupon they were confronted by an attractive assistant. Men who were attracted to her had a high boost of testosterone in their bodies.
These were also the men who tried most to impress the assistant, and who the assistant could tell were attracted to her. Which may explain the enormously bizarre behaviour of young males at any given club on a Friday night. It turns out that the basic human drives of affection, bonding and romance may be rooted – just like in the animal kingdom – in the chemical processes of the brain.

In a purely animalistic sense, testosterone is supposed to get you to bed, and oxytocin is supposed to keep you there.

Considering 90 per cent of human cultures today display kissing behaviour, we know surprisingly little about it. We are unsure where kissing originated, whether it is learned behaviour or wired into our very nature.

A plethora of animals use kissing, or similar behaviour in their normal social interactions. Bonobos monkeys for instance, kiss for just about any reason at all. Similar behaviour can be seen in birds, foxes and groups of rowdy Trinity Nurses.

This lends credence to the theory that kissing is a natural part of us. Documented acts of kissing date back to earliest recorded history. Alternatively, some anthropologists postulate that kissing was first used for affection in India, and became widely spread upon its invasion by Alexander the Great in 328 BC.

Since then, amour affecianadoes the world over, including your sister, have spent many years perfecting their technique, but to what end? Recent studies suggest that kissing can have a dramatic impact on mating and relationships.

The close-contact nature of kissing brings us closer to our partner, allowing the exchange of physical pleasure, chemicals such as pheromones, and the kissing disease. The exciting nature of kissing at the beginning of the relationship releases dopamine – a chemical associated with romance.

Maybe because of this, the first kiss can make or break a relationship. And for those of you in long-term relationships, one experiment demonstrated that couples who kissed for 15 minutes saw a reduction in their levels of cortisol – a stress hormone.

Clearly, kissing is awesome.

So go right ahead. You have my permission.

We’ve all heard the sermons and lectures. It is generally agreed that drinking alcohol – in excess – can be self-damaging. However very few of us know, or even pause to consider – how much is too much?

For most of us, the post-party hangovers, scrapes and empty wallets are the only gauge of our previous night’s drinking. These are usually the most effective incentives to cut back at the next party. Sadly, it is difficult to grasp the idea that our current drinking habits may have long-reaching consequences.

When we drink in Ireland, it is often to the point of drunkenness. In fact, according to a 2007 study we have the highest binge-drinking rate in Europe at 34 per cent of drinkers over-indulging in alcohol. The next closest? Finland, at 27 per cent.

Binge drinking is most simply defined as drinking to get drunk. The World Health Organisation (WHO) describes it as five or more units of alcohol in one drinking session. This translates to 2.5 pints of beer, 5 shots, or 5 small glasses of wine. This may not seem like a lot, does it? But therein lies the problem.

It was estimated by the WHO in 2001 that a quarter of deaths among men aged 15-29 in Europe were, at that time, attributable to alcohol. A 2003 report indicates that 33 per cent of Irish males and 22 per cent of females drink over the recommended weekly intake of alcohol – 21 and 14 units respectively.

In 2003, it was estimated that the total spending and lost revenue from alcohol related episodes was over €2.6 billion in Ireland. And teenage and underage drinking is still rising.

“Between 1995 and 2004, 1,775 people died as a result of alcohol abuse in Ireland alone.”

Indeed, these figures are worrying, but they are still somewhat remote. It is difficult to relate to cold statistics. But if we look around us, it is not difficult to find a family problem, crime or someone hurt by alcohol. Between 1995 and 2004, 1,775 people died as a result of alcohol abuse in Ireland alone.

In fact, 88 per cent of public offences are related to alcohol, 34 per cent of divorces cite alcohol as the main cause of breakdown, and 38 per cent of road deaths are alcohol related. One in every eight patients attending accident and emergency rooms is a result of an alcohol related injury.

In addition to the socially destructive nature of alcohol consumption, it is important to explore the impact it has on our health. When we start consuming alcohol, generally the liver can metabolise one standard unit per 90 minutes. When we drink more than one per hour, alcohol builds in our blood, starts affecting the brain, and we feel drunk.

Alcohol depresses activity in the brain, therefore leading to slower reflexes, impaired judgement, and highly emotional states. It makes your emotions more potent, which means it enhances the current mood we are in – if we are sad, we usually become sadder.

In moderation these effects are pleasurable, however extremely heavy drinking can shut the brain down completely, causing blackouts, killing cells and causing minor brain damage. And this happens more often than we realise.

As we drink, alcohol causes us to urinate far more frequently than normal. As a result we become extremely dehydrated. Organs steal water out of the blood stream to stay alive, and consequently our brain shrinks – a big part of the hangover headache.

And high amounts of alcohol cause damage to our liver and other vital organs. After a heavy bout of drinking, the liver releases the same enzymes as it would if it were physically assaulted. The toxic effects of alcohol coupled with dehydration and other insults, acutely damages other organs as well.

Chronic binging causes repeated damage to these organs, which can lead to cirrhosis of the liver, irreversible damage to the heart, blood vessels and kidneys. It also raises the chances of other diseases such as heart disease.

These problems are exacerbated for women, since they metabolise and tolerate alcohol less efficiently than males. On average, two units of alcohol will have the same effect on women as three units on men.
This is simply because women are physiologically different – and also face a different set of challenges. For instance, alcohol is a major factor in the participation of unprotected sex, leading to unplanned teen pregnancies. These risks are significantly higher in the 18-25 age range. And unprotected sex also leads to higher rates of sexually transmitted infections amongst both sexes.

The alcohol-related behaviour we experience, perhaps even embrace, in Irish society may be normal to us, but to the majority of the world it is an undesirable model. We can only change the current state of affairs by first becoming knowledgeable about them.

We are all familiar with the scenario: our girlfriend gives us a wicked-awesome hickey for us to show off to ‘the boys’. And then we realise – Mother – will see said ‘hickey’ over morning porridge and crumpets, and subsequently destroy our life.

And as a result, we stay up all night trying various remedies to get rid of the accursed (yet awesome) love-spot.

And when the 7:45 breakfast-bell sounds, you have 2 problems – a kick-ass hickey (pardon the pun) and red puffy eyes from crying at 3:00am from sheer exhaustion and surrender.

So what should you have tried? Hickeys are really only bruises – tiny, ruptured blood vessels under the skin leading to discolouration. Sadly, there are no reliable cures for them – not even toothpaste. Once formed, they are around for a while.

Luckily, you can always beat the dust out of your mum’s 1993 ill-advised taupe turtleneck, and saunter into the kitchen. Another remedy, for those of an artistic inclination, involves stealing your sister’s concealer and going Picasso on that bruise. But what about puffy-eye for the lover-boy?

There are a few anecdotal remedies that could help. Some advise haemorrhoid cream, which constricts fine blood vessels and could reduce puffiness. Over-use can lead to allergic reactions and your friends calling you ‘bum-face’. And rightly so. Caffeinated teabags however, are an effective (and less smelly) alternative. The classic – cucumber slices – will also relieve the area as they have a water content of around 96 per cent and are excellent body rehydrators and contain ascorbic acid (Vitamin C) and caffeic acid, fiber, along with minerals like silica, potassium and magnesium, which will help rejuvenate you.

Or, you could dawn your mum’s ill-advised 1993 humongous-sun glasses, and saunter out into rainy Dublin.