Hot
Hairy Chests
It has come to the attention of the otwo staffers that men don’t know that some women actually like hairy chests. For shame! There is nothing better than snuggling into a chest-mat of epic proportions – not only is it relaxing, but it also affirms the manliness of your manly man.

Trolololololo man
This month’s superstar is Trolololololo man (YouTube it) – a singer from the 70s who manages to sing a mesmerising song, without words, or moving his lips. You won’t be able to stop watching, or bursting into trolololo song in the shower, on the bus, and anytime there’s an awkward silence. Trolololo man for UCD Ball 2010!

The return of Glee
It’s been a long, hard wait for us true Gleevotees. Ever since the mid-season break of the US showings of Glee, we’ve had to put up with everyone else catching on months late, pretending to love it as much as we do, mis-quoting Sue Sylvester and generally being annoying while we wait for new episodes. But next week, on April 13, we finally get to see what happens next – will Emma leave anyway? Will Finn forgive Quin? Will Sue continue to be as awesomely hilarious as she was before? Judging by her ‘Sneaky Gays’ Sue’s Corner promo, that’s one thing that seems certain.

UCD Carnival
We’re reliably informed that this year’s UCD Ball will feature a carnival. Hurrah! Fairground rides, candyfloss and general carnivalosity awaits us all on April 23. Good thing as well, it will give us something to do while we’re waiting for Jedward. JEDLY!

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Not

Chatroulette
Ok, so we get the concept. Using Chatroulette, you can connect with strangers worldwide for chats and stuff. Interesting, yes? A fascinating insight into the mindset and cultures of others. You might meet your new best friend or your soulmate, or find out something you never knew, or dismiss some stereotypes you may have held about, for example, the Chinese. But in reality, what will happen is that you’ll see lots of random dudes wanking. And nobody really needs an insight into that.

Cheating celebs
Celeb after celeb is coming out with “shocking” stories of their “indiscretions” with cocktail waitressess, dancers, hostesses etc etc etc. Even Mark Owen – little, lovely, pure, boybandy Mark Owen – can’t manage to not sleep with some skank other than his wife. And why? Too much temptation? Sex addiction? Please. Trousers and willpower may help with this.

Academics
Assignments, exams, assignments, essays, exams, more assignments. Yeah, this is what college is actually all about but damn, it really puts a crimp in one’s social life. And you have to swap the bar for the library. Really loud chewing, really bad personal hygiene, people taking naps, people using the library as a social event, and worst of all – people with nicer laptops than you. Bastards.

Amateur Paparazzi
You know the type – always have a camera at their fingertips, ready to pounce every time you do something stupid or look vaguely rough. They incessantly take pictures on nights out, so that when you wake up in the morning you have 20 Facebook notifications of tagged pictures of you doing things you’d forgotten out of sheer shame. The amateur paparazzo has no conscience and no compassion – they merely want to make every one of their friends look as haggard as possible all over the internet. Rob Lowney, we’re looking at you.